Album #360: The Kunts – Kunts Punk in Your Face

  • Released: 2020
  • Origin: Basildon, England
  • Label: Disco Minge
  • Best Track: Boris Johnson is a Fucking Cunt

‘Tis the season to be jolly offensive, and with the subtle political undertones of The Kunts’ ditty ‘Boris Johnson is a Fucking Cunt’ reportedly jostling with LadBaby and Mariah Carey for the esteemed Christmas No. 1 spot, it’s time to drop a massive steaming yule log on this blog.

The Kunts is a punk revamp of Kunt and the Gang, who have a bit of a history of political chart-bothering, with the disgusting ‘Use My Arsehole as a Cunt’ reaching #66 on Christmas Day 2010 as a dedication to Nick Clegg and his weasly selling out to the Tories. The “brains” behind the project, known simply as “Kunt”, then slightly bettered that the following year with ‘Fucksticks’ reaching #63.

Both songs appear on Kunts Punk in Your Face, but while previously taking the form of a kind of low-tech synth-pop, Kunt has rustled up a band of punks and given his songs about vaginas, erections and other puerile tabooisms a makeover in the best possible medium for just sticking it right up ’em.

No one is spared from his debauchery, from Her Majesty (‘God Save the Queen’s Cunt’) to that bloke who celebrates his 2,020th birthday tomorrow (‘Jesus Died of a Stranglewank’). At times the lyrics are clever and make you giggle (“Did you know in Saudi Arabia no-one’s seen a lady’s labia?”), others make you wince (“Come on, penetrate me, make me feel like Stephen Gateley – well, not lately!”). Basically, you should be in no doubts what you’re signing up for if you give this a listen – he even explains it on the front cover!

As for ‘Boris Johnson is a Fucking Cunt’, it’s trashy and immature and it doesn’t really solve anything to get a song calling the prime minister a cunt into the charts. Nonetheless, he is a cunt – a cunt who has fudged a god-awful deal maybe, but a cunt all the same. It’s a therapeutic song and a minute of much-needed catharsis. And you still have three hours or so to help by downloading it here!

And here’s a surprisingly articulate and inspiring message from Kunt himself!

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